Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
