i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woke up backwards on a recliner
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
