just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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