My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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