I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
