I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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