I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
