he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize