butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
