Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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