i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
