my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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