I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
