pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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