im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.