I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
