i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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