Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
