i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
