Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
