I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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