hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
