You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My balls are so social today.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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