Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
