Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
