Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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