Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
