My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
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Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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