if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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