I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
