there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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