So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Jerry, you need to find god
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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