This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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