So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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