Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
