just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
