hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
