i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
