i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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