i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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