I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize