Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
