I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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