Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
