So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Barsexuality is the new black.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize