um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
