can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
