Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize