Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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