After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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