i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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