Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
