I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
