How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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