i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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