I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize