All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
