I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
